


We Look Out For Each Other

by novaartinoisaqueen



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Catras thoughts at the end of S5:E11 "Failsafe" before leaving, F/F, Sorry:(, kinda angst, only slightly edited so be nice, shadow weaver and perfuma mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24677389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novaartinoisaqueen/pseuds/novaartinoisaqueen
Summary: "Just...how could she? How could she do it? Catra teased Adora for being an idiot and being stupid and dumb, but it was only ever teasing. Adora was smart. So why did she listen to Shadow Weaver? Why did she have to sacrifice herself when it was obvious she was going to die?"Catra thinks back on their trip to Mystacor when Adora took over the failsafe, ultimately sacrificing herself. Obviously, there's only one solution if Catra wants to make things right. To stop hurting the one person she cares about.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Kudos: 65





	We Look Out For Each Other

**Author's Note:**

> after watching S5Ep:11, i made a mental note to revisit the episode after finishing the series and write a little drabble on catra's thoughts and feelings after their trip to mystacor. this is my first fic for the she-ra fandom (wooo) and hopefully the first of many! my fic writing is different than my personal writing, as i try to mimic the creator and stay as in character as possible, so it's going to take some time to adjust and figure out what my writing style for this fandom will be. hope you enjoy! you can find me on tumblr on my main blog, emybain, or my she-ra side blog, catradora-bitch (im really creative with my urls i know). feedback is appreciated and welcome!

How could she look so peaceful after the day’s events?

Catra sat perched on top of the green crates beside her disorderly sleeping mat. Adora was fast asleep on her mat, the muscles in her face relaxed. She was curled in on herself, facing Catra’s empty mattress. It almost made Catra slump down from her spot and crawl into bed. Just to be closer to her. Within an arm's reach. But Catra, still upset and hurt from Adora’s betrayal earlier in the day, refused to give into her desires. 

_You look out for me, I look out for you._

Catra almost scoffed. 

She did look out for Adora, for once, and Adora still chose to be the hero. It was always about being a hero with her. Never about what _she_ wanted.

When they returned from Mystacor, Catra pointedly avoided Adora for the rest of the evening until everyone went to bed. When Adora hadn’t been shooting looks at her, expression pleading or frustrated or both, Catra stole glances in her direction, ears flat against her hair. It was technically their first fight as friends again. Catra hated it. 

_It’s hard keeping your heart open._ Perfuma’s words from earlier echoed in her head, deafening in the quiet hideout. Catra did open her heart at the failsafe, and it only ended in pain. Her fingers itched at her side. They wanted to grab something and throw it, or scratch something, or blow something up. Anything to get her frustration out of her system.

No. 

Catra inhaled deeply and let darkness wash over her as she closed her eyes. She had seen how flower girl meditated, how it supposedly calmed her down. And Catra had said she was working on her anger issues. 

Blue flashed across her eyelids. She was back in Mystacor, and Adora was absorbing the failsafe. Catra remembered how frozen she was in that moment, watching her best friend sacrifice herself so carelessly. Adora never looked out for herself, always putting everyone else first. Suddenly it didn’t matter that they were fighting for their lives. A hollow feeling had carved itself into Catra’s body, and it remained there now, all these hours later. She lost Adora. Again. 

Catra forced her eyes open with a low groan, teeth just barely showing. Melog shifted in their spot half on top of Adora, her fingers curled in the hair on their head, Catra envied them for being able to do what she could not. 

Just...how could she? How could she do it? Catra teased Adora for being an idiot and being stupid and dumb, but it was only ever teasing. Adora was smart. So why did she listen to Shadow Weaver? Why did she have to sacrifice herself when it was obvious she was going to die?

Catra pursed her lips, claws digging into the crate beneath her. 

_It doesn’t matter what they do to us._

No, it did matter. Shadow Weaver had controlled Adora’s life as much as Catra’s, forcing both of them to play certain roles. Groomed them. Purposefully molded them into polar opposites that could only end in them hurting each other. When she was younger, Catra had never understood why Adora didn’t like the old hag, as she received nothing but praise and affectionate head pats. She always assumed it was because Shadow Weaver was less kind to Catra, Adora’s need to protect others over herself. But now Catra knew the truth, or at least she was trying to understand the truth. All Shadow Weaver did was manipulate people for her own gain. So...why did Adora listen to her? 

_Catra, she...distracts you. Confuses you. Haven’t you hurt each other enough?_

She had waited for Adora to brush it off and defend Catra, like the old days. But it didn’t come.

_I will stop Prime. No matter what._

On the ground, Adora shifted, murmuring something under her breath and turning her head to the left, away from Catra. 

Catra’s eyes wandered down to the rise and fall of her chest, where the fail-safe glowed bright. If an onlooker didn’t know any better, they would think it was almost pretty, in a weird sort of way. It’s strange beauty only worsened Catra’s opinion of it. As if sensing the growth in Catra’s distress, Melog purred up at her, giving her a long look. Catra ignored it, so the alien laid their head back down on Adora’s leg. She wasn’t an idiot. She knew that the alien animal acted as a representation of Catra’s true feelings, her real thoughts. They sensed the conflict within her, knew how Catra felt about Adora, how she had felt about her their entire lives. Attachment was frowned upon in the Horde. They were always taught that it made them weak, that caring for others and loving them and showing vulnerability was evil. Well, Catra had never been good at listening. 

Adora had been there for her from the beginning, all those years ago when Catra was a frightened, abandoned kitten. She didn’t have anyone or anything except Adora. Growing up in the Horde, Catra never cared about the actual war or winning. She just wanted to be appreciated, and Adora was the only one who stood by her through everything. They promised one another to always stick together. So they could be safe.

And now, Catra was going to lose the only thing she had left in the world that had meaning to her. Taking on the fail-safe was a suicide wish, Adora knew that. With She-Ra being unpredictable, Catra’s fault according to Shadow Weaver, there was no way of guaranteeing Adora would succeed and come out alive. 

Stupid heroes and their stupid selfless savior complexes. 

Catra should’ve known better. She should’ve known better all those years ago than to fall hopelessly in love with a selfless hero. Sticking together was only hurting them at this point. Hurting Adora, who was needed more by Etheria than by Catra. Adora didn't need her, never had. 

If Catra was only bad luck, then fine. She would leave. That way, she wouldn't be a distraction. 

She didn’t look back.


End file.
